I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
