My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
