If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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