He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
