the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize