I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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