He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
