is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
