remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
