Don't you send me to vm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
