surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I need moral support for this bender
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
