great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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