This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
