I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
