You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
