I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
