apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
