i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
