Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
