Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
