First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize