SEEEEXXX PLEASE
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
