i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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