are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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