This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
