At least make sure they are 18
Why
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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