she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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