why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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