If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
