I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
