my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
