Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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