I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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