if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
