two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He felt like a one man threesome
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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