Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
