Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
