I hate all girls vehemently.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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