just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
