i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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