I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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