I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
