I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
