Having a random hookup so left but love u
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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