My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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