Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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