Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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