Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
