i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
