There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Pooping to opera.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
