I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
