I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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