I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
