The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
