if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Life is so much better after having sex.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
