I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Verdict: uncircumcised.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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