I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
