After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
