so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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