i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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