so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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