i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
